From Japan to You: Haiku from Around the World
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I promised to tell you what is the most common mistake of the structural plan, which makes Russian haiku (ie, poets writing haiku).
So, I tell. Haiku in structure - and the two-part asymmetrically. He does not "mean" it is as if broken by the fifth or twelfth syllable. The Japanese, as we already know, represent this breakdown using kiredzi.
But in the Russian translation of the tradition of the school record haiku in three lines, and because of that they are perceived as a three-part poem. And it is not. The beauty of a haiku - in this shaky asymmetry disequilibrium, a fragile balance impossible. In haiku two semantic center: either short exposure and rebounding from her short story, or a long visit and "shock ending".
Example of the first approach:
Hatsu sigure saru mo Comino on hosige nari
The first winter rain.
I want to monkey straw raincoat.
Edo but ame nangoku Nonda hototogisu
Rain over Edo.
How much you drank? A Kukushechka?
Example of the second:
sumidzumi or Nokor Samus but I ume Khan
In the shadow of the corner chill several hours late,
A plum blossoms.
minadzuki but no coca sudzusii hototogisu
In emptiness of the sky, in the cool of anhydrous moon -
Conversion of haiku in an isosceles triangle semantic parts deprives verse charm. He no longer soars, he, like a stool, standing firmly on the ground.
So somehow ...